Poetry, motherhood and beyond.
Dearest daughters, You are so young, only five and two, and so blessedly contained inside the safe square that makes up your world. On the beach, you shed your clothes in seconds, concerned only with skipping to the water in as few steps as possible. When you get dressed in the morning, your main objective... Continue Reading →
During my own mind's most confused hours, long gone Tolstoy spoke to me from beyond his grave. I am his spirit forever grateful for sharing his own struggle and awakening in A Confession. I know the publication of the same resulted in his exclusion from the circles in which he moved, but having experienced the... Continue Reading →
When I am able-bodied and strong, it is easy to create the illusion that I and those I love could exist in a vacuum. Nothing could be further from the truth. As humans, we are little jigsaw pieces of a hugely complex society, each performing a task so that the next person won't have to.... Continue Reading →
I once had a friend, but she is no more. Her presence left imprints in me and bettered my life at the time. As a child, she could organise her stuffed animals into elaborate social structures and families and play with me for hours. As a teenager, she explored black mascara and lipstick with me... Continue Reading →
On my most forgetful days, I catch myself staring at my children wondering how they could possibly come out of nothing. Pregnancy nausea, heavy belly loads, overdue due dates, marathon births and post-partum recovery are parked at the very lowest level of my consciousness as I marvel at the miracle of life. Sharing a particularly... Continue Reading →
Once upon a work day, a friend, fellow mother and esteemed colleague much wiser than me made a statement during lunch that has stayed with me: All over our world, women having children is seen as a problem. Now, my yang side can find some truth in this statement. It is a disruption to office... Continue Reading →
Each pregnancy has left an imprint in my body. I am not just referring to the outer signs, or the transformation that took part as I grew and expanded alongside my belly; I've recently learned that my children's cells actually influence my own DNA. This makes complete sense to me on a psychological level. Each... Continue Reading →
It's easy to love a baby. There are as many tales of first-rush-love as there are mothers in this world, but once love has made an entrance, it settles in our hearts and stays. When I first held my daughter in my arms, I was confused, tired, in pain, astounded that both of us had... Continue Reading →
I put my youngest daughter to bed just now and as I felt her firm grip on my hair relax and her breathing grow heavier, a thought crept up on me. By mothering her, I am preparing her for life without my presence. She is my replacement. If our lives follow the natural order of... Continue Reading →
Since becoming a mother, I am a person divided. Most days, I shape shift between two different roles: My mother-self and my professional-self. Even though I live in a society reasonably tolerant and encouraging of family life, I struggle to let these two persons co-exist. In essence, my mother-self is my female self, and it... Continue Reading →
On Mama's Mind 